Simple NLP Techniques to Improve Self-Compassion

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a set of models that allow someone to create cognitive behavioural change and build more resourceful internal states to achieve their goals. In other words, NLP models teach you how to see problems from different perspectives to find more appropriate solutions. This is made possible because of NLP’s vast number of tools and techniques that you can access to solve any situation you may face. The unique level of flexibility is what makes NLP the most recommended training for coaches, therapists, or anybody who has decided to move forward with their lives in a healthier and happier way.




Recently, however, many of us have been pushed to live in a much more solitary way. Keeping our families and our communities safe has become a key priority and as a result we all have a lot more time to spend alone with ourselves. Even though we often talk about empathy and compassion during NLP trainings, we often overlook the most important tool to keep a healthy mindset during situations of increased isolation: loving ourselves, or self-compassion.

Have you ever noticed how sometimes we find it easier to be compassionate towards others than to be compassionate towards ourselves? If you can relate, the two basic techniques designed to help boost self-compassion below are just for you. By loving ourselves more fully, we may find that even the most challenging situations can be easily managed. Who knows, you might even surprise yourself with the decisions or actions that come from cultivating just a little (or perhaps a lot) of self-compassion and self-love.




Technique #1: Anchoring
Think back to a memory where you were able show compassion towards yourself. Imagine yourself floating back to that moment in time. Allow yourself to see, hear, feel, taste and smell everything fully and immerse yourself in the scene. Cultivate that feeling of self-compassion and allow it to spread throughout your whole body. When that feeling is at its strongest, firmly place your right hand on your left wrist. Hold it there for 10-15 seconds and release, then slowly return to your day full of self-love and compassion. Whenever you wish to boost that feeling again, just place your hand on your wrist again to activate the anchor.



Technique #2: Dissociation
Imagine that you can see yourself on a movie screen being compassionate to someone else. Take the time to immerse yourself in the scene as a spectator watching this play out on the screen in front of you. See everything there is to see, hear everything there is to hear and so on. Take the time to focus on the interaction between you and the other person, what specifically do you say? How specifically do you show this person compassion? What is the reasoning or the thinking you used? When you’re ready, imagine that your image on the screen looks directly at you.  Now use the same words of compassion towards the ‘you’ on the screen. Do this until you feel happy, then slowly return to your day full of self-love and compassion.


Remember to do these simple visualisation exercises with a positive intention in mind to give them even more power, and above all enjoy and have fun while practicing these techniques. If you’d like to take a deeper dive into how these techniques can reprogram your behaviours and limiting beliefs or you’re interested in discovering a whole range of other techniques, please check our website and get in touch with any questions. Happy exploring!

Diogo Guia

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